The worst tragedy in life is not death.
The worst tragedy is to stop laughing, stop loving and stop dreaming. The worst tragedy is when you die inside but outside you’re still alive.
Today I laughed. I’m glad I can still do it from time to time. Family lunch was great and I got to see all my family. They don’t know what I’m going through, they just think I’m weird.
Not even my father understands what this is. He thinks I choose being sad and depressed. But no. He always treats me like I’m a strange girl that suddenly went sad one day, he asks me why I don’t have any ambitions or wishes in life. And I guess I don’t.
My twins are almost two, and I feel like I’m missing all of it. I get angry at them really fast and I don’t seem to have any patience. If I add all the moments I go to the bathroom to cry… who would want a mother like me? I wouldn’t. then I get sad cause I don’t spend time with them or because I’m not as happy as I should. And I cry again. It’s the depression circle.
Like right now, I was playing with them, I saw my kitchen was leaking water, I went to clean it, my kids were being annoying, my husband was playing video games and I shouted at the kids and closed the door. They cried, I cried.